The Surrogacy Pregnancy Guide for Intended Parents — Part 2: Third Trimester Through Delivery

This is Part 2 of our surrogacy pregnancy guide for intended parents. Part 1 covers the embryo transfer through the second trimester. This part picks up from week 28 through delivery and what comes after.

Third Trimester (Weeks 28–40+)

Weeks 28–32: Getting Real

The third trimester is when the logistics become urgent. Your baby is growing rapidly — from about 2.5 pounds at week 28 to about 4 pounds by week 32.

What to do:

• Choose a pediatrician and let them know about the surrogacy arrangement. Schedule the first newborn visit.
• Finalize insurance for the baby. Confirm you can add them as a dependent within 30 days of birth.
• Book accommodations near the hospital if you'll need to travel. Hotels near hospitals often offer extended-stay rates. Ask if they have a crib or bassinet available.
• Discuss the birth plan with your carrier and your attorney:
  • Who will be in the delivery room?
  • Will you cut the cord?
  • Skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth?
  • Who will the hospital contact in an emergency?

Weeks 33–36: Final Preparations

Week 33–34:

• Pack your hospital bag. Include: going-home outfit for baby, car seat (installed in your car or rental), your ID, copies of the parentage order / pre-birth order, hospital letter from your attorney, and insurance cards.
• If your carrier is having a planned C-section, the date is usually scheduled around week 37–39. Coordinate travel around this date.
• Order the cord blood collection kit if you're banking cord blood. It needs to be at the hospital before delivery.

Week 35–36:

• Be ready to go. If you're traveling, consider being in the area by week 36–37. Babies don't always wait for their due date.
• Finalize your birth plan with the hospital. Provide copies of:
  • The pre-birth order or parentage order
  • The hospital letter from your attorney
  • Your ID
  • Emergency contact information

Weeks 37–40+: Full Term

Week 37: Your baby is officially full term. They could arrive any day.

What to do:

• If you're not already near the hospital, consider going now.
• Have your attorney's number on speed dial.
• Double-check that the hospital has all your legal documents.
• Charge your phone. You'll want to capture everything.

During labor and delivery:

• Follow your carrier's lead. She's the one in labor.
• If you're in the delivery room, be supportive — hold her hand if she wants, stay out of the way if she doesn't.
• The moment your baby arrives, ask for skin-to-skin contact if your birth plan includes it. Many hospitals support this for intended parents.

After Delivery

The first hours and days after delivery are a blur of emotion, paperwork, and sleepless joy. Your baby is here.

Immediate priorities:

1. Notify your attorney (see our post-birth admin guide).
2. Check on your carrier. She just did something extraordinary. A heartfelt thank-you, flowers, or a gift goes a long way.
3. Begin the birth certificate, SSN, and passport process.
4. Add your baby to your insurance within 30 days.

What Nobody Tells You About Being an IP During Pregnancy

You might feel disconnected. You're not feeling the kicks, the cravings, or the physical changes. It can feel like watching your own life through a window. This is normal, and it doesn't mean you're not bonding with your baby.

You might feel guilty. Guilty that someone else is going through pregnancy for you. Guilty that you're not suffering physically. Guilty that you feel relieved you're not the one carrying. All of these feelings are valid, and none of them make you a bad parent.

You might feel anxious all the time. Without physical cues, you rely on updates from your carrier and appointments. The space between updates can feel enormous. Communicate openly about what frequency of updates works for both of you.

You might feel overwhelmed by gratitude. Your carrier is doing something profound. Let her know. Often.

Your Journey, Your Way

There's no right way to experience a surrogacy pregnancy as an intended parent. Some IPs are involved in every appointment. Others give their carrier space and check in weekly. Some attend the delivery. Others are in the waiting room.

What matters is that you and your carrier communicate openly, respect each other's boundaries, and stay focused on what you share: bringing a new life into the world.

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Previous: Part 1 — Transfer Through Second Trimester

Related reading:

• How to Stay Connected with Your Surrogate During Pregnancy
• The Emotional Side of Surrogacy Nobody Talks About
• The Complete Post-Birth Admin Guide